Last week I forwarded one of Rev Run's Words Of Wisdom quotes to a friend. It was about figuring out what makes you happy and then simply DOING IT. I loved it. It's simple, but why some of us make it hard on ourselves, I don't know. I'm guilty too! My friend's reply was, "yeah, simple, but money and time are a factor." Jeez, got negative much?! I shared the fact that I feel my happiest moments often had nothing to do with money and took little time.
Some defining moments in my life are obvious. Becoming a mother. Falling in love. Graduating. Learning to drive. Getting promoted. Standing in front of Maxwell at his concert at the Grammy museum. And the list goes on. Those moments certainly deserve value and recognition, but I'll get into detail in another blog. Not today.
Today, I want to pay homage to those priceless moments. The moments that bring me happiness and break my hectic life down to breaths of peace. Despite some rough times, I'm not so jaded and do recognize what makes me happy.
Recently, I've been afforded the opportunity to spend more time with my Grandparents. It's the silver lining to a painful event in my life. Isn't life grand to hand you a little sugar with the salt? My Grandparents are in their 80's and I know I don't have much time with them, so I'm holding on to these moments with both hands. I am blessed. The other night, I walked down the hallway and could see my Grandfather in his room sitting in front of the television watching baseball. I think it's SO cute that my grandparents still bicker at each other, still watch tv together, still eat together. It's amazing. This particular night, my Grandma was washing her face as my Grandpa watched tv. As I neared their room, I said, "Hi Dad" (I affectionately call my Grandparents Mom and Dad). He looked up from the TV and had a very sweet look on his face while he said, "Hi!" He said it in a way that I interpreted as, "I'm happy you're here." Every fiber of my body smiled. It was a moment that I wish I could bottle up and put on a shelf for the next time I need a pick-me-up. It was just what I needed and right on time.
My daughter will be 13 in March. Every day I hope to make it through without having to bitch her out or repeat myself a hundred times. That girl tests all my patience. Since the day she was born to last night, however, when I see her sleep, I want to shed tears of joy. It is honestly the most peaceful sight ever. Often, I end up kissing all over her face because I am so proud to be her Mom. It never fails that when I do that, she doesn’t wake up being mad. She always gives me a sleepy smile and says, “I love you, Mommy.” That girl sure knows how to make me feel guilty for being a meanie during the day.
There is a man that I love. He is simple and complex. Half the time I can’t read him or figure him out, but if I were blindfolded, I could still tell you if he’s in the room. My senses dance when he’s near. I swear I can feel this man in my bones. He’s a man of few words, but there have been numerous times when I would walk into the room and his glance said it all. His eyes tell me I’m beautiful inside and out. His smile makes me feel lucky to know him. It’s in those moments, words are unnecessary. In those moments, nothing else matters.
I have a dear friend who is my rock. She prays for me and lifts me up when I’m at my lowest. We don’t see each other often and don’t need to. We don’t even talk regularly, but when we do, the conversation picks up as if we just got disconnected. There have been countless times during our friendship that I feel like she can hear my soul calling her. I’ll have challenging days and suddenly I’ll get an email from her filled with encouraging words and a note that she was just thinking about me. Her role in my life is priceless. She is a part of my makeup and one of the greatest teachers God has gifted me with. I wish I could gather up all of the words she has shared with me and put them in a song. I would walk about this life with it on repeat and let my soul sing.
It’s a blessing to have the ability to know what makes you happy. While I always believe in striving for better, don’t forget to pay equal attention to the blessings you already hold. I’m certain everyone is surrounded by beauty that doesn’t rob us of precious time and money. For me they are in smiles from strangers. Glances. Random acts of kindness, given and received. Watching elderly couples walk hand in hand. Smelling a baking cake. Looking up at a red light and noticing the sky is painted in beautiful hues. Listening to the radio and an oldie but goodie comes on. Getting a whiff of a perfume or cologne that can awaken memories of precious times. Laughter from babies. Sea breezes, crashing waves and warm sand in my toes. Hellos. Bear hugs. Laughing until you cry. Scratching that itch. Writing. Being still. Singing loudly in the car. Kisses on the neck. Complements about my cooking!
Each day brings new possibilities. I challenge you to identify what brings you happiness. When you do, bottle them up and put them on the shelf. When life gets hectic, pour yourself a glass. You deserve it!
As always, wishing you PEACE, BLESSINGS and Deelicious Fun!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
20 Weeks, 40 Years
I remember a time when I thought 40 was "old". Growing up, I figured by the time I'm 40, I would be married with 3 kids, own a home and have a successful career to top it all off. My weekends would consist of shopping at Costco, home projects, driving the kids to their various activities, and date nights with my husband. In reality, my life does not resemble that "dream/vision" whatsoever. Where did I go wrong, or did I?!
God willing, I will celebrate 40 years of life in exactly 20 weeks from today. I've never been one to dread an upcoming birthday, but this milestone is a little harder to swallow. Remember when the year 2000 was approaching and we didn't know what was going to happen? Some feared computers would crash, money in the bank would be lost forever and it would be pure mayhem. I have a similar feeling about my 40th birthday. I always imagined 40 to be the age where you should have your shit together already and since mine isn't, I'll deem myself a failure.
Soon, I can't honestly check the 35-39 box. I'll probably have to start looking into anti aging creams. If I date a 29 year old, will I be considered a cougar? Will gray hair start appearing? Even worse, my biological clock is doing more than ticking. It's straight sounding off right about now. I think that's the hardest part about maturity (don't you like my choice of words?) for a woman. While I've gone through fazes of wondering if I'd want another child, I do want to keep that option. I want to be able to control that choice.
The next 20 weeks will be about re-evaluation. Even though I imagined something else at 40, is that what I really want? Was I measuring success and accomplishment against someone else's ruler? Perhaps. This is what I set out to discover. My life is filled with so much beauty and love as it is and I don't want to discredit all the lessons life has taught me thus far. I want to keep learning. I want to keep the pursuit of happiness alive. What if I had accomplished those things already? Would I feel like, "What now?"
One of my favorite quotes is, "It's not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away." I've had so many breath taking moments in my 39 years and 32 weeks of living. I am blessed and look forward to many more. In the next 20 weeks I'm going to identify and write about those moments. When January 31st comes, I plan on celebrating all of those moments and toasting to those that have yet to come. No failures!
As always, I wish you peace, blessings and deelicious fun.
God willing, I will celebrate 40 years of life in exactly 20 weeks from today. I've never been one to dread an upcoming birthday, but this milestone is a little harder to swallow. Remember when the year 2000 was approaching and we didn't know what was going to happen? Some feared computers would crash, money in the bank would be lost forever and it would be pure mayhem. I have a similar feeling about my 40th birthday. I always imagined 40 to be the age where you should have your shit together already and since mine isn't, I'll deem myself a failure.
Soon, I can't honestly check the 35-39 box. I'll probably have to start looking into anti aging creams. If I date a 29 year old, will I be considered a cougar? Will gray hair start appearing? Even worse, my biological clock is doing more than ticking. It's straight sounding off right about now. I think that's the hardest part about maturity (don't you like my choice of words?) for a woman. While I've gone through fazes of wondering if I'd want another child, I do want to keep that option. I want to be able to control that choice.
The next 20 weeks will be about re-evaluation. Even though I imagined something else at 40, is that what I really want? Was I measuring success and accomplishment against someone else's ruler? Perhaps. This is what I set out to discover. My life is filled with so much beauty and love as it is and I don't want to discredit all the lessons life has taught me thus far. I want to keep learning. I want to keep the pursuit of happiness alive. What if I had accomplished those things already? Would I feel like, "What now?"
One of my favorite quotes is, "It's not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away." I've had so many breath taking moments in my 39 years and 32 weeks of living. I am blessed and look forward to many more. In the next 20 weeks I'm going to identify and write about those moments. When January 31st comes, I plan on celebrating all of those moments and toasting to those that have yet to come. No failures!
As always, I wish you peace, blessings and deelicious fun.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Strong like a Rose
Today is my Grandmother's 82nd birthday! This woman has seen and experienced so much in her 82 years of living. She's kind, sweet, fierce, strong and when necessary, ruthless. She has more energy in her little 5 ft body than I do. I think I'm being kind when I say she's 5 ft tall, however.
I believe I owe a great many of my personality traits to my Grandmother. Some of them are probably by way of my Mom, but we all come from, Rose. She's been married to my Grandfather for 62 or 63 years now and that is an accomplishment in itself. I love that they will still complain about one another! He says she does nothing but nag, nag, nag and she says he gets on her nerves. It's all comical to me.
She raised 5 children of her own and countless neighborhood children. She has 8 grandchildren (me being the oldest) and 2 great grandchildren. She got her first job at the Mervyn's behind their house at the young age of 50. She used to pass out the numbers in the dressing room. She eventually retired from there! Every day she would walk to work and if it was late when she'd get off, my Grandpa would meet her there or their old dog, Tidus. It was the cutest because my Grandpa would tell Tidus to go get "Mom" and he would run to Mervyn's and wait at the side door for her to come out.
Besides the occasional annoyance with my Grandpa, I've never heard this woman complain. She rarely even likes to tell anyone what she wants. For birthdays and Mother's Day, you usually have to pay close attention to what she says to figure out what she wants. She would never ask, though. One year before Mother's Day I remember her saying, "I like the Grove." There it was, the clue that she wanted to go to the Grove.
When she was growing up she's had to endure things that today, I just couldn't imagine. For instance, when the Japanese were taking over Guam, my Grandma and her family hid in caves to save their lives because the Chamorros on the island were being killed off. She told me stories of having to leave the cave at night to search for food to eat. My aunts and uncles have told me stories of them not having much money growing up and my Grandma would always find creative ways to provide, like using rice to glue school projects and lipsticks as crayons. She can grow anything in her garden and it blooms. I recall her bringing what I thought was a very dead orchard back to life. It's her touch...she has that certain magic.
She's had to hold the family together when a gambling addiction threatened to take all they had. She's been by my Grandfather's side through his many heart surgeries and always nurses him back to health, all the while keeping our heavy hearts light. Once I rushed to the hospital when my Grandfather was having an emergency surgery. Everyone looked worried and most of us were crying. She sat there quietly. No tears. No worry. She saw how upset I was and simply said to me, "Just pray." When I was 26, I was so scared to tell her I was pregnant because I wasn't married. See, she is a devout Catholic who has a mini alter complete with statues of Mary and Jesus in her bedroom. Every morning and night she can be found on her knees praying. I finally mustered up the nerve to tell her and to my surprise she said,"It's okay, Dee, you'll get married later." I never did get married, but she never held it against me and Keona loves, loves, loves her Nana.
Today and always I celebrate this special woman. I hope and pray that I can be as strong and resilient as she. I hope I can make lumpia, red rice and carrot cake just half as well as she does. Actually, I hope to do everything with that special touch that she possesses. I am so proud to know I am a part of her and so is my daughter. I could go on and on with stories about this lady, but I think I'll save it for a book. :)
As always, peace, blessings and Deelicious Fun! Happy Birthday, Mom!!
I believe I owe a great many of my personality traits to my Grandmother. Some of them are probably by way of my Mom, but we all come from, Rose. She's been married to my Grandfather for 62 or 63 years now and that is an accomplishment in itself. I love that they will still complain about one another! He says she does nothing but nag, nag, nag and she says he gets on her nerves. It's all comical to me.
She raised 5 children of her own and countless neighborhood children. She has 8 grandchildren (me being the oldest) and 2 great grandchildren. She got her first job at the Mervyn's behind their house at the young age of 50. She used to pass out the numbers in the dressing room. She eventually retired from there! Every day she would walk to work and if it was late when she'd get off, my Grandpa would meet her there or their old dog, Tidus. It was the cutest because my Grandpa would tell Tidus to go get "Mom" and he would run to Mervyn's and wait at the side door for her to come out.
Besides the occasional annoyance with my Grandpa, I've never heard this woman complain. She rarely even likes to tell anyone what she wants. For birthdays and Mother's Day, you usually have to pay close attention to what she says to figure out what she wants. She would never ask, though. One year before Mother's Day I remember her saying, "I like the Grove." There it was, the clue that she wanted to go to the Grove.
When she was growing up she's had to endure things that today, I just couldn't imagine. For instance, when the Japanese were taking over Guam, my Grandma and her family hid in caves to save their lives because the Chamorros on the island were being killed off. She told me stories of having to leave the cave at night to search for food to eat. My aunts and uncles have told me stories of them not having much money growing up and my Grandma would always find creative ways to provide, like using rice to glue school projects and lipsticks as crayons. She can grow anything in her garden and it blooms. I recall her bringing what I thought was a very dead orchard back to life. It's her touch...she has that certain magic.
She's had to hold the family together when a gambling addiction threatened to take all they had. She's been by my Grandfather's side through his many heart surgeries and always nurses him back to health, all the while keeping our heavy hearts light. Once I rushed to the hospital when my Grandfather was having an emergency surgery. Everyone looked worried and most of us were crying. She sat there quietly. No tears. No worry. She saw how upset I was and simply said to me, "Just pray." When I was 26, I was so scared to tell her I was pregnant because I wasn't married. See, she is a devout Catholic who has a mini alter complete with statues of Mary and Jesus in her bedroom. Every morning and night she can be found on her knees praying. I finally mustered up the nerve to tell her and to my surprise she said,"It's okay, Dee, you'll get married later." I never did get married, but she never held it against me and Keona loves, loves, loves her Nana.
Today and always I celebrate this special woman. I hope and pray that I can be as strong and resilient as she. I hope I can make lumpia, red rice and carrot cake just half as well as she does. Actually, I hope to do everything with that special touch that she possesses. I am so proud to know I am a part of her and so is my daughter. I could go on and on with stories about this lady, but I think I'll save it for a book. :)
As always, peace, blessings and Deelicious Fun! Happy Birthday, Mom!!
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