About a week ago, the Forbes Billionaires list was announced. New to the list this year and the youngest female to be included is 41 year old Susan Blakey, the creator of Spanx. Unbelievable. At the age of 27 she worked in retail and was a stand-up comedian. She wanted to wear a pair of cream pants to a party one evening and needed an undergarment that simply didn't exist. So, she cut the legs off of control top pantyhose and there was the birth of Spanx. She wore the same cream pants every day for 3 years because she couldn't afford advertisement. She was her own walking commercial. Her big break came when Oprah included Spanx on her "Favorite Things" list and that was all she wrote. She was Oprah'ed. I have rigged up and created so many things in my day, but never imagined I could sell any of it.
Another story I love is that of Bethenny Frankel from the Real Housewives of NY. She was a personal chef/caterer in NY and struggling. There were times she couldn't even pay her rent. At the age of 39 she created a company called "Skinnygirl Cocktails". That same year she wrote 2 cookbooks and released an exercise DVD. The next year she wrote a book called, "A Place of Yes: 10 Rules For Getting Everything You Want Out of Life." It sat on the NY Times best sellers list for several weeks. 40 seemed to have been her year. She got married, gave birth to her first child and sold her "Skinnygirl Cocktails" company to Jim Beam reportedly for $120 million! She now has a spin off show called "Bethenney Ever After" and we get to see her purchase her first home, deal with the challenges of marriage, raising a toddler and new success and money. As if that weren't enough, she will be hosting a talk show airing this summer.
Bethenny was one of the original cast members of RHW of NY and I can't believe that in the time I've been watching her, she's created a brand and gone from one extreme to the other...and I'm STILL watching her (insert a kick to my own ass). There was a time when this woman struggled to stay in a relationship and now she's a married millionairess with a daughter and 3 books under her belt. I feel like a serious underachiever right about now. I say this because there is nothing Bethenny has done or is doing that I haven't thought of or dreamed about doing myself. She just actually DID it. All while I watched. SMDH
It comes down to having a real passion and love for what you're doing. It's the ultimate motivation because you truly believe in "it". It's not just a dream or something that feels good to think about like winning the lotto. You want it so badly you pursue it with tenacity, conviction and the right attitude. There are certain things in life that I have gone after in this manner and I have gotten them. Each and every time. I just need to reach further, jump higher and widen my lens because my talents haven't even touched the surface of their abilities. It's much more comfortable to push towards an easy mark, but if you set your sights further imagine the joy of seeing possibilities become reality.
There's a Maya Angelou quote I often reference. "Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing and do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you." This should be every body's motto. No matter what it is you love, do it to the fullest and best of your ability. I love to cook and feed people. It is a true extension of my heart and satisfies my creative appetite like nothing else. If I could, I would spend my day in the kitchen and let people come in and eat, whether they could pay me or not. I express myself in food and in word and love to write. Often I don't even intend for it to be read. Writing is actually one of the only times I'm selfish. Most of what you read is merely a conversation I'm having with the woman in the mirror. I am so delighted when friends reach out and actually compliment me on something I've written. It's always a pleasure to know I've touched someone in some way.
Speaking of touched. The other day I had dinner with a friend. On the way to the restaurant we both talked about job stress, relationship challenges and over-all life frustrations. During our meal the convo continued on the same topics but also included money, health issues, the weather, etc. With our bellies satisfied we rushed to valet complaining of the cold weather. The valet attendant that took our ticket greeted us with a gigantic, warm smile. As he called out the numbers of our ticket over his walkie talkie, he never lost his smile and spoke so zealously. He joked around with his colleagues and his every move seemed to be made with pure enthusiasm. We were waiting near where the car would arrive, but I couldn't take my eyes off of this man. I turned to my friend and noticed he was doing the same. We looked at each other and both expressed our awe and shame for all the complaining we just did. My friend is a recruiter for USC. He plays an amazing role in providing education to people. I've been working in HR at a major entertainment company for 10 years. The both of us earn way more than that valet attendant. I have an office with at TV in a building that houses a cafe and a gym on a studio lot that has theaters, a dry cleaner, car wash, store and so much more . My friend gets to travel the country as a job requirement and meet new and interesting people on a daily basis. Yes we both deal with job stress, expectations and difficult people, but we don't stand all day, in a parking garage and meet people who barely say 2 words to us before going about their business. We got in the car feeling extremely blessed and fortunate for what we do.
Susan Blakey, Bethenney Frankel and that valet attendant all inspire me despite how different their lives are. I woke up Monday morning dreading a dental appointment, the commute to work and the issues I had to deal with once I got in, but then I remembered the attendant and his amazing attitude. It all starts with the right attitude. Life would be so much richer if each day was met with that kind of enthusiasm. Each challenge should be delicious and sweet because it pushes us closer to our goals. Oprah may never try my cooking and catapult me to the billionaire's list. Bravo may never play out my love life and business successes on national TV. However, all eyes will be on me because I'm doing what I love and doing it well. And when this life is over, I intend on meeting my Maker with empty hands because I will have used all the gifts He has blessed me with.
As always, wishing you Peace, Blessings and Dee-licious Fun!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
For Dee
It's happened. I've entered a new decade of my life. I don't know what I was dreading or anticipating, but there were no police knocks at the door, no fireworks that lit up the sky, no magical light bulbs that suddenly appeared over my head and no bells or whistles. I spent my birthday exactly how I wanted to. I was where the sand was white and the waters were blue, in a bathing suit, no makeup and my hair in a ponytail. I sat in a swing at a bar on the beach in Cancun and did several tequila shots with people that were beyond my 40 years. Everyone kept offering to buy me another shot, which was funny considering we were at an all-inclusive resort! I had some extremely insightful tequila spiced conversations with people that have retired, seen the world and had so much to talk about. I felt like a sponge soaking up the stories and libations. I met a dairy farmer who bought into the timeshare at the resort so he can give his wife 2 weeks of lovely vacation a year. It was so sweet to hear him talk about his wife and just wanting to make her happy. I met a retired narcotics investigator from Chicago and we talked about marijuana, the millennials in the workplace and the lack of common sense in the world. I met another retired woman whose advice to me was, "travel, enjoy life and date young men." I. Love. Her.
I realized that youth is really in the heart and age is nothing but a number. They out drank me, out storied me, out experienced me, out laughed me and I'm sure I was asleep before them, even though I have less years under my belt than they do! As I stumbled to the buffet to try and counter all the tequila with some tacos, they were running off with their wives to probably continue drinking and sex all night! I was jealous.
A little while back I wrote about how I imagined my life to be quite different at the age of 40. I'm so very hard on myself and I often feel like an underachiever. I honestly felt by 40 I should have the husband, 2 sons, a daughter, 2 family dogs, a house large enough for everyone to have their own room and bathroom and still guest rooms, an office and a kitchen to die for because I would come home from work, cook and we'd all sit down, eat together and discuss our day. Clearly I've watched too much television. I don't even know anyone my age or older that lives like that?!
Here's my reality show: I've never been married, but I did spend 15 years in love with someone. That was an accomplishment! I also gave birth to a beautiful 9 lbs 3 oz, 21 1/2" baby girl on March 11, 1999. There is NOTHING in this world I can't do after that. I don't own a home and truth be told, I don't desire to. I prefer to call the landlord when something needs to be fixed. I bump Pharcyde, Black Moon and a plethora of other old school hip hop while driving my daughter to school and quote rap songs more than any 40 year old woman should. I laugh every day and usually at myself. The best advice I've ever gotten in my whole life came from my daughter when she was all of 5 years old. Someone upset me and she told me to "use my words". I told her I did and I'm still upset and she said, "Just ignore". I've been blessed to travel and live in places that amaze me to this day. One of my greatest memories was touring Old Jerusalem and walking the same path Jesus did with the cross. I've sipped Red Stripe on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. I've been to the Vatican. I've been in the caves in Puerto Rico. The best filet o fish I've ever had was at the McDonalds in Rome. I was on Taxi Cab Confessions in NY. I've seen mostly all of my favorite entertainers live in concert and the memories are priceless. Many life-changing, special events and parties have been enjoyed with my tasty creations because I season all my food with nothing less than pure love. I've been to countless NBA games, a few MLB games and one NFL game. Phantom of the Opera is still my favorite musical. I've walked the red carpet at the Emmy's, Image Awards and Teen Choice Awards. My first skiing experience was in Vale, Colorado. I've water skiid, surfed, camped, hiked, but you will never hear of me bungy jumping or rock climbing! Also, I'm just fine with the simulated sky diving because I don't see myself ever in a postition to be standing next to an open door on a plane and jumping out. Snorkling is okay, but I prefer to see fish from the other side of thick glass. If you want to kill me, stick me in a room with cats. "40 year old woman dies from the torture of cat allergies." is what the headline would read. I've been to the shooting range and while there I imagined every one of those people to lose control or go postal and shoot me. (why?) I have sought the advice of a therapist on more than one occasion in my life and recommend it to others. I wanted to be a race car driver when I was younger. I own two tool boxes and a drill and I'm not afraid to use them. I used to collect caterpillars, put salt in snails, and Grunion run, but wouldn't think of doing any of those things now. Tacos and french fries are my favorite foods. I will put hot sauce on almost anything and dip almost anything in ranch. (Almost!) I was raised a Catholic and when I was younger if anything bad happened to me, like I fell off my bike, I would pray for forgiveness because I felt I must've done or said something bad to deserve to fall. I still pray and love the Lord, but I've gotten over that Catholicism guilt :) I've loved and lost and I'm not afraid to do it again! There's so many other things that have paved my journey and make up who I am today, but I can't write about them all.
The other day my friend asked me how does 40 feel. I told him 40 still feels like 39, but 39 has always felt like 33, and 33 still felt like 25. So there you have it. I don't know if 40 is the new 30 or whatever the saying is now, but I'm happy I don't have any gray hair, my skin isn't wrinkled, I'm healthy, my daughter is growing up to be a wonderful, young lady, my heart is at peace, my family is solid and my friends are like cups of coffee on tired mornings, warm blankets on cold nights, Patron shots, and smiles all in one. I'm basically a student of life and I love the lessons learned and always eager for the next. I have experience, but I'm not jaded. I keep getting better and I still play as if I don't have to get up and go to work the next day. My journey to 40 might not be what I expected, but oh what I ride and I wouldn't exchange all that I am today for that "dream" of what I thought would be the perfect life. My life is divinely perfect in every way. Every lesson, every experience, every act of love, every smile, every tear, every touch, every pain has been well worth it. It's not 40 years, it's the "For Dee" years and I'm so looking forward to the next "For Dee"! Who knows what's in store...maybe I'll finally make the ultimate commitment and get married. Maybe I'll have another baby. Maybe we'll own a house, with a room for each kid and a spare with the perfect kitchen and two dogs in the backyard chilling next to the pool. Who knows...the possiblities are endless!
As always, PEACE, BLESSINGS and DEE-LICOUS FUN!
I realized that youth is really in the heart and age is nothing but a number. They out drank me, out storied me, out experienced me, out laughed me and I'm sure I was asleep before them, even though I have less years under my belt than they do! As I stumbled to the buffet to try and counter all the tequila with some tacos, they were running off with their wives to probably continue drinking and sex all night! I was jealous.
A little while back I wrote about how I imagined my life to be quite different at the age of 40. I'm so very hard on myself and I often feel like an underachiever. I honestly felt by 40 I should have the husband, 2 sons, a daughter, 2 family dogs, a house large enough for everyone to have their own room and bathroom and still guest rooms, an office and a kitchen to die for because I would come home from work, cook and we'd all sit down, eat together and discuss our day. Clearly I've watched too much television. I don't even know anyone my age or older that lives like that?!
Here's my reality show: I've never been married, but I did spend 15 years in love with someone. That was an accomplishment! I also gave birth to a beautiful 9 lbs 3 oz, 21 1/2" baby girl on March 11, 1999. There is NOTHING in this world I can't do after that. I don't own a home and truth be told, I don't desire to. I prefer to call the landlord when something needs to be fixed. I bump Pharcyde, Black Moon and a plethora of other old school hip hop while driving my daughter to school and quote rap songs more than any 40 year old woman should. I laugh every day and usually at myself. The best advice I've ever gotten in my whole life came from my daughter when she was all of 5 years old. Someone upset me and she told me to "use my words". I told her I did and I'm still upset and she said, "Just ignore". I've been blessed to travel and live in places that amaze me to this day. One of my greatest memories was touring Old Jerusalem and walking the same path Jesus did with the cross. I've sipped Red Stripe on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. I've been to the Vatican. I've been in the caves in Puerto Rico. The best filet o fish I've ever had was at the McDonalds in Rome. I was on Taxi Cab Confessions in NY. I've seen mostly all of my favorite entertainers live in concert and the memories are priceless. Many life-changing, special events and parties have been enjoyed with my tasty creations because I season all my food with nothing less than pure love. I've been to countless NBA games, a few MLB games and one NFL game. Phantom of the Opera is still my favorite musical. I've walked the red carpet at the Emmy's, Image Awards and Teen Choice Awards. My first skiing experience was in Vale, Colorado. I've water skiid, surfed, camped, hiked, but you will never hear of me bungy jumping or rock climbing! Also, I'm just fine with the simulated sky diving because I don't see myself ever in a postition to be standing next to an open door on a plane and jumping out. Snorkling is okay, but I prefer to see fish from the other side of thick glass. If you want to kill me, stick me in a room with cats. "40 year old woman dies from the torture of cat allergies." is what the headline would read. I've been to the shooting range and while there I imagined every one of those people to lose control or go postal and shoot me. (why?) I have sought the advice of a therapist on more than one occasion in my life and recommend it to others. I wanted to be a race car driver when I was younger. I own two tool boxes and a drill and I'm not afraid to use them. I used to collect caterpillars, put salt in snails, and Grunion run, but wouldn't think of doing any of those things now. Tacos and french fries are my favorite foods. I will put hot sauce on almost anything and dip almost anything in ranch. (Almost!) I was raised a Catholic and when I was younger if anything bad happened to me, like I fell off my bike, I would pray for forgiveness because I felt I must've done or said something bad to deserve to fall. I still pray and love the Lord, but I've gotten over that Catholicism guilt :) I've loved and lost and I'm not afraid to do it again! There's so many other things that have paved my journey and make up who I am today, but I can't write about them all.
The other day my friend asked me how does 40 feel. I told him 40 still feels like 39, but 39 has always felt like 33, and 33 still felt like 25. So there you have it. I don't know if 40 is the new 30 or whatever the saying is now, but I'm happy I don't have any gray hair, my skin isn't wrinkled, I'm healthy, my daughter is growing up to be a wonderful, young lady, my heart is at peace, my family is solid and my friends are like cups of coffee on tired mornings, warm blankets on cold nights, Patron shots, and smiles all in one. I'm basically a student of life and I love the lessons learned and always eager for the next. I have experience, but I'm not jaded. I keep getting better and I still play as if I don't have to get up and go to work the next day. My journey to 40 might not be what I expected, but oh what I ride and I wouldn't exchange all that I am today for that "dream" of what I thought would be the perfect life. My life is divinely perfect in every way. Every lesson, every experience, every act of love, every smile, every tear, every touch, every pain has been well worth it. It's not 40 years, it's the "For Dee" years and I'm so looking forward to the next "For Dee"! Who knows what's in store...maybe I'll finally make the ultimate commitment and get married. Maybe I'll have another baby. Maybe we'll own a house, with a room for each kid and a spare with the perfect kitchen and two dogs in the backyard chilling next to the pool. Who knows...the possiblities are endless!
As always, PEACE, BLESSINGS and DEE-LICOUS FUN!
Monday, January 2, 2012
Next Chapter
"You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."
I also read that this year is penned as the year of creation. Everyone has the ability to make what they want. I have to admit that there is a different feeling about this year for me. I feel excited. It's that feeling you get when you first move into a new place. Ahead of you are wonderful memories yet to be made. You get to explore a new area, create the environment that you will enjoy, meet new people, etc.
I can't say too many bad things about 2011, even though it presented many challenges for me. I cultivated a Love that began at the end of 2010 and learned so much about myself, relationships and heartbreak. I wouldn't change the experience for the world. I made some new friendships last year, learned new things professionally, but also put my health on the back burner.
This year I'm choosing to be selfish. For those that know me, this is new! I tend to put more of my energy into making sure everyone around me is okay, even when I feel like I'm dying inside. I can see everyone in their greatest light, recognize their talents and cheer them on, but I can't do the same for me. I'm way more insecure than I project and I've recognized the issues it has caused in all aspects of my life.
So, with that being said I am going to take my life to a greater level. First I am going to strengthen my relationship with Jesus. I have put so much before Him and caused myself so much unnecessary heartache and stress. I had the faith without the work. This is all part of my plan to work on ME inside and out. I'm turning 40 this month and I want to prove just how fabulous 40 really is! I'm on the path to being in the best health of my life. I'm saying it. I'm seeing it. I will live it!
It all requires vision. We can dream, but can you really SEE what you want for yourself? Sometimes it's even hard to express what you want. Fear of failure kicks in and sometimes it's easier to say you never wanted it in the first place, just in case you don't get it. Trust me, I'm the queen of this. No more!
So, I'm putting it out there. This is what I want and see for myself. I will live it. I will put the work into my faith and trust in God and Jesus Christ. The devil's greatest tool is fear and he will not use this against me. I will study the Word and put Him first. I will take care of my body and health. I will be a better role model to my daughter by doing so. I will create my catering web site and web series. I will cater many more fabulous events this year and teach others how to as well. I will do things that make my soul smile such as giving back to my community. There are families in our own city that don't have enough to eat and adults that can't read! I will nurture my relationships. Text, FB, Twitter and email are relied on too heavily as a means of social connection. I will make more phone calls this year and make time to spend with those I care about. I will grow up and be wiser with my finances. Being a single Mom is challenging. I miss the simple, special times with my daughter. More bike rides, painting and walks are in order! I am going to enjoy every minute of this time we get to spend with my Grandparents. I will write on a weekly basis because I love it. I will update my resume! I will not be afraid to tell people how I feel. I've given all past hurts to God and I'm refreshed and at peace!
Say it. See it. Live it!
Until next time...peace, blessings and Dee-licious Fun!
I just read that quote from a friend's FB page. I can completely understand and I need to listen to it. I am so guilty of re-reading. I re-read, search deep for meanings and lessons, beat myself up over past decisions and always list the woulda, coulda, shouldas. It's not necessarily all bad unless it keeps you from putting one foot in front of the other and moving on. I realize I look back more than I look forward. So, today I'm making the decision to look forward with excitement.
I also read that this year is penned as the year of creation. Everyone has the ability to make what they want. I have to admit that there is a different feeling about this year for me. I feel excited. It's that feeling you get when you first move into a new place. Ahead of you are wonderful memories yet to be made. You get to explore a new area, create the environment that you will enjoy, meet new people, etc.
I can't say too many bad things about 2011, even though it presented many challenges for me. I cultivated a Love that began at the end of 2010 and learned so much about myself, relationships and heartbreak. I wouldn't change the experience for the world. I made some new friendships last year, learned new things professionally, but also put my health on the back burner.
This year I'm choosing to be selfish. For those that know me, this is new! I tend to put more of my energy into making sure everyone around me is okay, even when I feel like I'm dying inside. I can see everyone in their greatest light, recognize their talents and cheer them on, but I can't do the same for me. I'm way more insecure than I project and I've recognized the issues it has caused in all aspects of my life.
So, with that being said I am going to take my life to a greater level. First I am going to strengthen my relationship with Jesus. I have put so much before Him and caused myself so much unnecessary heartache and stress. I had the faith without the work. This is all part of my plan to work on ME inside and out. I'm turning 40 this month and I want to prove just how fabulous 40 really is! I'm on the path to being in the best health of my life. I'm saying it. I'm seeing it. I will live it!
It all requires vision. We can dream, but can you really SEE what you want for yourself? Sometimes it's even hard to express what you want. Fear of failure kicks in and sometimes it's easier to say you never wanted it in the first place, just in case you don't get it. Trust me, I'm the queen of this. No more!
So, I'm putting it out there. This is what I want and see for myself. I will live it. I will put the work into my faith and trust in God and Jesus Christ. The devil's greatest tool is fear and he will not use this against me. I will study the Word and put Him first. I will take care of my body and health. I will be a better role model to my daughter by doing so. I will create my catering web site and web series. I will cater many more fabulous events this year and teach others how to as well. I will do things that make my soul smile such as giving back to my community. There are families in our own city that don't have enough to eat and adults that can't read! I will nurture my relationships. Text, FB, Twitter and email are relied on too heavily as a means of social connection. I will make more phone calls this year and make time to spend with those I care about. I will grow up and be wiser with my finances. Being a single Mom is challenging. I miss the simple, special times with my daughter. More bike rides, painting and walks are in order! I am going to enjoy every minute of this time we get to spend with my Grandparents. I will write on a weekly basis because I love it. I will update my resume! I will not be afraid to tell people how I feel. I've given all past hurts to God and I'm refreshed and at peace!
Say it. See it. Live it!
Until next time...peace, blessings and Dee-licious Fun!
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