I just read that quote from a friend's FB page. I can completely understand and I need to listen to it. I am so guilty of re-reading. I re-read, search deep for meanings and lessons, beat myself up over past decisions and always list the woulda, coulda, shouldas. It's not necessarily all bad unless it keeps you from putting one foot in front of the other and moving on. I realize I look back more than I look forward. So, today I'm making the decision to look forward with excitement.
I also read that this year is penned as the year of creation. Everyone has the ability to make what they want. I have to admit that there is a different feeling about this year for me. I feel excited. It's that feeling you get when you first move into a new place. Ahead of you are wonderful memories yet to be made. You get to explore a new area, create the environment that you will enjoy, meet new people, etc.
I can't say too many bad things about 2011, even though it presented many challenges for me. I cultivated a Love that began at the end of 2010 and learned so much about myself, relationships and heartbreak. I wouldn't change the experience for the world. I made some new friendships last year, learned new things professionally, but also put my health on the back burner.
This year I'm choosing to be selfish. For those that know me, this is new! I tend to put more of my energy into making sure everyone around me is okay, even when I feel like I'm dying inside. I can see everyone in their greatest light, recognize their talents and cheer them on, but I can't do the same for me. I'm way more insecure than I project and I've recognized the issues it has caused in all aspects of my life.
So, with that being said I am going to take my life to a greater level. First I am going to strengthen my relationship with Jesus. I have put so much before Him and caused myself so much unnecessary heartache and stress. I had the faith without the work. This is all part of my plan to work on ME inside and out. I'm turning 40 this month and I want to prove just how fabulous 40 really is! I'm on the path to being in the best health of my life. I'm saying it. I'm seeing it. I will live it!
It all requires vision. We can dream, but can you really SEE what you want for yourself? Sometimes it's even hard to express what you want. Fear of failure kicks in and sometimes it's easier to say you never wanted it in the first place, just in case you don't get it. Trust me, I'm the queen of this. No more!
So, I'm putting it out there. This is what I want and see for myself. I will live it. I will put the work into my faith and trust in God and Jesus Christ. The devil's greatest tool is fear and he will not use this against me. I will study the Word and put Him first. I will take care of my body and health. I will be a better role model to my daughter by doing so. I will create my catering web site and web series. I will cater many more fabulous events this year and teach others how to as well. I will do things that make my soul smile such as giving back to my community. There are families in our own city that don't have enough to eat and adults that can't read! I will nurture my relationships. Text, FB, Twitter and email are relied on too heavily as a means of social connection. I will make more phone calls this year and make time to spend with those I care about. I will grow up and be wiser with my finances. Being a single Mom is challenging. I miss the simple, special times with my daughter. More bike rides, painting and walks are in order! I am going to enjoy every minute of this time we get to spend with my Grandparents. I will write on a weekly basis because I love it. I will update my resume! I will not be afraid to tell people how I feel. I've given all past hurts to God and I'm refreshed and at peace!
Say it. See it. Live it!
Until next time...peace, blessings and Dee-licious Fun!
