It's happened. I've entered a new decade of my life. I don't know what I was dreading or anticipating, but there were no police knocks at the door, no fireworks that lit up the sky, no magical light bulbs that suddenly appeared over my head and no bells or whistles. I spent my birthday exactly how I wanted to. I was where the sand was white and the waters were blue, in a bathing suit, no makeup and my hair in a ponytail. I sat in a swing at a bar on the beach in Cancun and did several tequila shots with people that were beyond my 40 years. Everyone kept offering to buy me another shot, which was funny considering we were at an all-inclusive resort! I had some extremely insightful tequila spiced conversations with people that have retired, seen the world and had so much to talk about. I felt like a sponge soaking up the stories and libations. I met a dairy farmer who bought into the timeshare at the resort so he can give his wife 2 weeks of lovely vacation a year. It was so sweet to hear him talk about his wife and just wanting to make her happy. I met a retired narcotics investigator from Chicago and we talked about marijuana, the millennials in the workplace and the lack of common sense in the world. I met another retired woman whose advice to me was, "travel, enjoy life and date young men." I. Love. Her.
I realized that youth is really in the heart and age is nothing but a number. They out drank me, out storied me, out experienced me, out laughed me and I'm sure I was asleep before them, even though I have less years under my belt than they do! As I stumbled to the buffet to try and counter all the tequila with some tacos, they were running off with their wives to probably continue drinking and sex all night! I was jealous.
A little while back I wrote about how I imagined my life to be quite different at the age of 40. I'm so very hard on myself and I often feel like an underachiever. I honestly felt by 40 I should have the husband, 2 sons, a daughter, 2 family dogs, a house large enough for everyone to have their own room and bathroom and still guest rooms, an office and a kitchen to die for because I would come home from work, cook and we'd all sit down, eat together and discuss our day. Clearly I've watched too much television. I don't even know anyone my age or older that lives like that?!
Here's my reality show: I've never been married, but I did spend 15 years in love with someone. That was an accomplishment! I also gave birth to a beautiful 9 lbs 3 oz, 21 1/2" baby girl on March 11, 1999. There is NOTHING in this world I can't do after that. I don't own a home and truth be told, I don't desire to. I prefer to call the landlord when something needs to be fixed. I bump Pharcyde, Black Moon and a plethora of other old school hip hop while driving my daughter to school and quote rap songs more than any 40 year old woman should. I laugh every day and usually at myself. The best advice I've ever gotten in my whole life came from my daughter when she was all of 5 years old. Someone upset me and she told me to "use my words". I told her I did and I'm still upset and she said, "Just ignore". I've been blessed to travel and live in places that amaze me to this day. One of my greatest memories was touring Old Jerusalem and walking the same path Jesus did with the cross. I've sipped Red Stripe on the beach in Montego Bay, Jamaica. I've been to the Vatican. I've been in the caves in Puerto Rico. The best filet o fish I've ever had was at the McDonalds in Rome. I was on Taxi Cab Confessions in NY. I've seen mostly all of my favorite entertainers live in concert and the memories are priceless. Many life-changing, special events and parties have been enjoyed with my tasty creations because I season all my food with nothing less than pure love. I've been to countless NBA games, a few MLB games and one NFL game. Phantom of the Opera is still my favorite musical. I've walked the red carpet at the Emmy's, Image Awards and Teen Choice Awards. My first skiing experience was in Vale, Colorado. I've water skiid, surfed, camped, hiked, but you will never hear of me bungy jumping or rock climbing! Also, I'm just fine with the simulated sky diving because I don't see myself ever in a postition to be standing next to an open door on a plane and jumping out. Snorkling is okay, but I prefer to see fish from the other side of thick glass. If you want to kill me, stick me in a room with cats. "40 year old woman dies from the torture of cat allergies." is what the headline would read. I've been to the shooting range and while there I imagined every one of those people to lose control or go postal and shoot me. (why?) I have sought the advice of a therapist on more than one occasion in my life and recommend it to others. I wanted to be a race car driver when I was younger. I own two tool boxes and a drill and I'm not afraid to use them. I used to collect caterpillars, put salt in snails, and Grunion run, but wouldn't think of doing any of those things now. Tacos and french fries are my favorite foods. I will put hot sauce on almost anything and dip almost anything in ranch. (Almost!) I was raised a Catholic and when I was younger if anything bad happened to me, like I fell off my bike, I would pray for forgiveness because I felt I must've done or said something bad to deserve to fall. I still pray and love the Lord, but I've gotten over that Catholicism guilt :) I've loved and lost and I'm not afraid to do it again! There's so many other things that have paved my journey and make up who I am today, but I can't write about them all.
The other day my friend asked me how does 40 feel. I told him 40 still feels like 39, but 39 has always felt like 33, and 33 still felt like 25. So there you have it. I don't know if 40 is the new 30 or whatever the saying is now, but I'm happy I don't have any gray hair, my skin isn't wrinkled, I'm healthy, my daughter is growing up to be a wonderful, young lady, my heart is at peace, my family is solid and my friends are like cups of coffee on tired mornings, warm blankets on cold nights, Patron shots, and smiles all in one. I'm basically a student of life and I love the lessons learned and always eager for the next. I have experience, but I'm not jaded. I keep getting better and I still play as if I don't have to get up and go to work the next day. My journey to 40 might not be what I expected, but oh what I ride and I wouldn't exchange all that I am today for that "dream" of what I thought would be the perfect life. My life is divinely perfect in every way. Every lesson, every experience, every act of love, every smile, every tear, every touch, every pain has been well worth it. It's not 40 years, it's the "For Dee" years and I'm so looking forward to the next "For Dee"! Who knows what's in store...maybe I'll finally make the ultimate commitment and get married. Maybe I'll have another baby. Maybe we'll own a house, with a room for each kid and a spare with the perfect kitchen and two dogs in the backyard chilling next to the pool. Who knows...the possiblities are endless!
As always, PEACE, BLESSINGS and DEE-LICOUS FUN!
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